8 months

Yesterday Emrie turned 8 months! Where is time going? 

Yesterday is not how I expected celebrating her being 8 months

We flew to California on Wednesday for Thanksgiving.  On the plane I noticed Emrie kind of shivered. I really didn't think anything of it and just thought she was cold.

We got to Grant's moms house and Emrie did the weird shiver/twitch again. I started noticing it more and more the next 2 days.  I decided to call my pediatrician back home and explained what was happening and she told me to go to the ER right away.  Well instantly I started crying and felt helpless being in another state. 

We went to the closest ER and waited 2 hours and finally saw the dr. that could have easily been the janitor. Here is how our conversation went:

Dr: "so what are you here for?"

me: "Well, Emrie has started to do a wierd twitch/tremor sort of thing and it has become more frequent and so I called my pediatrician and she said to go to the ER right away"

Dr: "That's what every dr. says.  She looks healthy and great!"

me: "well the nurse was really concerned that it may be siezures.  Could it be?"

Dr. "oh yeah it totally could be, but I have a good feeling about this one."

me: "ok, thanks?"

Seriously, our conversation was 5 minutes and we were out of there.

It still didn't settle well with me.  

Yesterday, we were at the airport and Emrie continued to have these weird episodes and so Grant called a wonderful Dr. that is a family friend and who we went to India with who started the Pediatric Intensive Care unit at Phoenix Children's Hospital.  Grant explained to him what was going on and the Dr. wanted us to come to the hospital right when we got off the plane.  He admitted us over the phone so when we got to the hospital we would not have to fill out any paperwork and could go straight up to a room.

So many things were running through my head.  Grant and I both cried half of the flight home.  It was the unknown and my mind went to the worst.  And this is the little face that was staring back at me the whole time on the plane...

After I had Emrie, I remember one night while feeding her in her dark and quiet room praying.  I remember praying and handing Emrie's sweet life over to the Lord.

It was hard.  But I realized that she is not mine.  She is the Lords and I have been blessed that God chose me as her momma. His will is best not mine. He is in control.

I kept trying to remind myself of these truths.

Getting to the hospital and unloading in the ICU was surreal.  I felt like I was in a nightmare and it was never going to end.  The doctors and nurses consulted with us and asked us some things that had been going on.  They wanted to do a 24hr EEG to see if there was any seizure activity going on.  After explaining what was happening and having them see a few episodes, you could just see on their faces that they had an idea of what it was.

Having the best Dr. in the world taking care of Emrie gave me a little bit of peace and there were SOO many people praying.

The hardest part was having to hold my sweet little girl down while they put 24 electrodes on her head to monitor her brain activity.  That was the only time she cried and Grant and I just sobbed.

This sweet thing was just swooning the nurses and they all just loved her.  She was SOO happy and smiley to all of them.

About 2 hours after the monitoring began, we got a call from the Dr.  He described what was going on with Emrie.  The first thing he said was "praise the lord, she is not having seizures!!" My heart was so happy! He explained she was having something called "shudder attacks." No known reason for them and can be common in young children.  Looks like a shiver and only lasts for about 5 seconds.  Very benign and no lasting effects.  She could have it for a couple of years or less, but then it should just clear up on it's own.  He said he wanted to continue monitor through the night and then we would talk in the morning.

WOW! Praise the Lord.  We were overjoyed and could not believe it! all the signs pointed to a seizure, but the Lord was gracious and prayers were answered.

This morning we met with the dr. and he explained to us that what all the Drs, neurologist and nurses thought was going on, was much far worse than this.  He said all the signs pointed to something way more severe and "shudder attacks" never came to his mind. He was preparing to talk to us hours on end about the next step and what we were going to need to do. THAT right there made me praise God and know that prayer is truly POWERFUL!

We were discharged today and maybe have spoiled little miss Emrie a little more than usual with love.  She is such a blessing and the thought of anything being wrong broke my heart. What a joy she is and great example of a joyful spirit.  With everything she was hooked up to and being so confined, she still had the BIGGEST smile on her face. 

If only I could have the spirit of my sweet 8 month old!